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The following is from the beginning of a short story by the same title. Read “Author Bio” to learn more. **** I was recently doing a search in Google to find a website that would confirm my suspicions about a Tele-huckster—a pet peeve of mine to which I am hopelessly addicted. One thing led to another and, yada yada yada, before I knew it, my flat screen monitor began flashing a string of sexually explicit pictures in brilliant pulsating color. It was an X-rated pop-up extravaganza; one I was unable to keep up with. I clicked frantically trying to close one close-up invasion after another. The bombardment continued on until it ran its course, eventually reaching some kind of worldwide web adult abyss that even the internet could not crawl below. As I cleaned up the dirty debris I so innocently spilled—well maybe not that innocently—I was struck by my good fortune. Thankfully, the internet came along decades after my early teen years. Had this stuff been around in the Sixties, I might still be squirreled away in my attic room to this day, trimming the hair on my palms while mumbling incoherently to my seeing-eye dog. On the other hand, learning the whereabouts, general appearance and overall purpose of female parts would have been a heck of a lot easier, not to mention more timely. Instead, my sex education was really the collective result of a hit or miss operation. At the time it was torture, but I don’t know, there was something funny about it too. And it all started at my local summer recreation center, Carteret Park ... **** “What did Roy Rogers say to Dale Evans in the bedroom when the lights went out?” Mud Finnegan asked a rapt group of adolescent boys sitting around a long wooden table at our local summer hangout, Carteret Park. He was about twelve years old, a year older than I and several years older than most of the kids sitting on the benches—that was age-wise but he seemed a generation older than all us in every other way. Mud looked around, working the table like a seasoned Catskill comedian. No one dared answered his question because it really wasn’t a question at all. It was an obvious lead-in to the punch line of another classic dirty joke; besides, no one had a clue as to the possible answer—no one that is except Moon Muller. “I know!” Moon yelped in a lame attempt to impress the guys, as if he was really in the know. “Shut up! You don’t know crap!” Fitzy snapped back, warning that one of his patented headlocks might be coming Moon’s way if he didn’t keep his big trap shut. “Do too!” Moon fired back in a surprising show of bravado. “Are you two f’in jerk-offs through?” Mud, as only Mud could do, used the “F” word with a certain artistic flair. He painted masterpieces with four letter words no differently than Monet did with colors from a pallet. Having regained the attention of his fickle audience, he continued to close the deal. “Do you f'in dick heads wanna hear the f’in joke or doncha?” His eyes got wide and kind of crazy looking, one eyebrow climbing higher than the other. Of course, we wanted to hear. Everyone settled down. He waited a moment, knowing timing was everything; then, delivered the goods. “I’ll turn on my flashlight if you turn on your headlights.” A flash of universal vacant thought swept across the sea of open jawed faces, like the eerie stillness before a tornado strikes, as our feeble brains scrambled to “get it”. Then, as if prompted by an audience monitor, an explosion of rip-roaring, doubled-over laughter swept around the table. Ah … Mud sure could bring it home. Making it all the more incredulous was that most of us struggled to understand the punch-line. But we knew enough to laugh because that always bought us time to figure it out. Mud proudly acknowledged his success with a wide grin, while he waited for us to wipe the tears from our eyes, boogers from our noses and drool from our chins. He was on top of his game. Being the veteran performer he was, he launched into an encore with another doozey about some lost traveler asking some guy who is with a woman how far is “The Old Log Inn”; you can guess the answer. Another eruption of roaring, clueless laughter followed. Another tidbit of carnal information revealed. That was my introductory class to sex education in the Sixties. We weren’t taught concepts like “private parts”, and never heard of or cared much for formal words like “penis” or “breast” or “vagina”. Our language was narrow and practical; “logs” or “rods” and “headlights” or “cams” were all we knew or needed know to communicate with each other. Regarding “vagina”, only a few guys with older sisters had even the slightest notion of what that might be; most of us were under the delusion that girls had simply broken their logs off at birth; possibly by accident or through carelessness. So all we had were Mud’s dirty jokes, and embellished stories of older sisters spied on or caught in some state of undress. It was all a forewarning of things to come. I mean we understood the direct symbolism of certain words to body parts and innately found the sophomoric humor in using such imagery in the context of a joke. But underneath it all we started to sense that there was more to this than met the eye, something sinister. As we’d soon come to discover, there sure was! safe penile enlargment does penis enlargement work penile enlargement device vimax penis enlargment enlagement manhattan penis surgeon compare pnis enlargement pills vimax penis enlargement surgeries herbal natural penile enlargement

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We're sure you'll agree with us that it's not so simple. We all need something more. After the candlelight dinner is cleared, the song completed and the flowers placed securely in a vase, you still need the mood for love! That's what we have found out in our search for the mood for love. Instead, we are glad this day to bring you the distilled essence of what we believe should help both you and the voluptuous woman of your life get into the mood for love. Mood for love secret # 1 – you’ll need the correct music, song and singer for both of you! Otherwise, one of you (or even both of you) may be thinking of another person, or worse still, another sexy image that the song and music have been crafted to evoke. That will not help you or your darling, because, as we have found out, both of you must be able to infuse each other's most engrossing and pervasive desires. Yours and your sweetheart's desires, not those of another person or even media image! It’s worthwhile making the effort to discover the correct music or song that will help both of you to focus on each other. Bring your sweetheart to the CD shops, or find a website that will enable both of you to really find a music or song recording that you find is mutually enjoyable. That will really set both of you on an interesting path of discovery. Next, don’t neglect the place for you to explore with your sweetheart your mutual, most enthralling desires. Mood for love secret #2 – find the correct surroundings that will bring out the mood for love for both of you. This may not be that easy to find nowadays, since we are truly assailed with all sorts of music, sounds, colours, activities and programs just about everywhere we go! But we are convinced that finding the correct place that both of you will like, which will help both of you to focus on each other, is not really that difficult. You can find a suitable place, just take heart and find it – and get your woman to come with you! So we’ll leave you now to make this journey with the woman you love…. Visit Penile Enlargement Blog For More Advice. homemade penis elargement cheap penile enlargment pills pennis enlargement device penis enlargment surgery picture penis enlarement surgeon penis enlargment forum cheap penis enlargment vig rx penis pill cheapest penis enlagement pills

Yes, some of the reputed lovers, in the past, novels and even today did manage to attract many women. They have their sexy secrets too, and some of these have been revealed in today’s knowledge-intensive world. But we found one thing common to all these men, whether smooth talkers, brute stalkers or crude maulers: they could not satisfy their women (or vice-versa)! What, Mark Anthony cannot satisfy Cleopatra, or lover T cannot satisfy lover K? Well yes, as far as we can tell, for, if you will care to follow us a little in our research, all these past lovers (and quite a few present ones, but we are unable to reveal their names for obvious reasons) ended up in tragedy! One reason was that their penile size was not at their optimum! That’s why these and many other romantic liaisons ended up as failures. You see, if they could satisfy their lovers, why did these lovers have to find others? Why did Cleopatra need so many men? Because, obviously, none of their penile sizes could satisfy her! But also, why must Casanova have so many women? Because, equally obviously, none of them could satisfy him! So, here’s Sexy Secret # 1 - YOU NEED YOUR OPTIMUM PENILE SIZE. What this means is that your penile size must suit the size of your lover’s needs and wants! And here’s where we can help you. You can find out for yourself, as did many of the patients that consulted sex doctors, that often, when they make love with their partners, they somehow could not do sufficient penetration to satisfy them. They often found that their lovers, after considerable foreplay and perhaps even the application of contorting love-making techniques, are still not satisfied! Secondly, Sexy Secret # 2 tells us that YOUR OPTIMUM PENILE SIZE WILL MEET YOUR LOVER’S NEEDS. Thus, if after making love with your Valentine, you find that your lover still wants more, then her physical, mental and emotional needs have obviously not been met by your love-making. All your romantic preparations, candlelight dinners, sweet love-talk, smooth love-play and athletic positioning somehow could not push into the limits of your lover’s body and psyche, where she really wants you to be. This brings us to Sexy Secret # 3 – YOUR OPTIMUM PENILE SIZE WILL MEET YOUR OWN NEEDS. In the above bedroom scenario, if you can’t reach deep into your woman’s body and psyche, the reason is that you need to have your own body and psyche ready to meet hers! Now, if your penile size is not at its optimum, then how can you reach the optimum of your woman? Let us help you to reach your optimum penile size! 　 Visit Penile Enlargement Blog For More Advice. vimax male virility sexual enhancement cheap penis enlargement pills penile enlargement pills review penis enlargement technique penis elargement surgeries home penis enhancement best penis enhancement pills penis enlarement tool cheapest penis enlagement pills

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